So I have been fighting the urge to text my husband. I want to reach out to him but I'm not going to; I don't want to push him. We are suppose to meet this weekend, hopefully, and I am scared that he is going to end it.

I have been meeting with a counselor and her advice is pretty sound. She says that being supportive of him needing space is a good thing. However, I can't not look under that rock. The rock being him leaving. I have slowly looked under and I don't want to go there but if I have to I will be ok. It will hurt. It will suck. It will break my heart. But if he doesn't love me that I can let him go.

Sunday Night!!!!

So I have been attending the eLearning 2009 conference the past few days and have been "trying" to have fun. Tonight is actually the first night that I did have some fun. I had to force myself but I did have some fun.

There was an event tonight at a local brewery and it was within walking distance of the hotel so I had a drink (or two). As I was walking back from the hotel I notice this amazing building. It actually reminded me of DC (so that made me thing of Patrick, I digress) and I thought of the history surrounding this building.



Just looking at this building makes we wonder what my life would have been like if I had lived in the past. By past I mean pre-modern age. Would I be the traditional wife and mother or would I be the "non-traditional" women?

Wonders of life

With everything that has been going on in my life I have started to realize that I am important.  I deserve somebody who loves me for who I am and wants to make me happy.  I deserve somebody who will talk to me and not ignore me.  Somebody who wants to grow old with me. 

I was going to start writing in my journal again; yes pen and paper but I thought why don't I use my blog. You may ask why do I need to journal; the simple answer is that my husband and I are going through some difficult times. He actually moved out two weeks ago and I don't know what the future holds for me.

It completely caught me off guard I didn't see it coming but know that I have had time to process everything I think it may be a good idea.

To make a very long story short my husband doesn't know if he loves me anymore and I realize that I can't have enough love for both of us. I have to have faith that we will get through this. The more I talk to people to more I realize that this happens more often than not.

On a lighter note, I am going to be an Aunt; I will be Aunty in about 7 months and I can't wait. This is the most recent ultra sound picture:

I will call the baby Mini-Vondey.

I guess I should get back to packing. I realize that there is probably nobody reading this but it is theraputic.