Super Excited

I've done it!!!!!!  No I haven't finally hired that hit man or told my crush my true feelings (J/J).  I have decided on a graduate program (drum roll please!!!)  Master of Science in Academic Advising from Kansas State University.  And no I don't have to move to Kansas, the program is fully online.  The program was developed in conjunction with NACADA (National Academic Advising Association) and has one multiple awards.  I am supper excited.

Know the big bucket of cold water.....I have to get off my ass and take either the MAT or GRE.  NO FUN.  I did find out that Troy University administors the MAT at my location.  They are literally right across the hall and I can take the test during my lunch hour.  Trying to schedule a time is no longer an excuse.  I just don't know why I am so scared of this damn thing.  I know I want too and need to persue my masters.  Especially if I want to move up in my field.  Dammit if I can survive a divorce I can apply to grad school.

The more I think about it the more I realize I am afraid of the rejection.  What if I'm not good enough?  What if I fail?  What if What if What if.  If I lived my life by what if's I would be living in a plastic bubble and I would never get out of bed.

My goal is to take the test in the next 60 days and apply to KSU before I go on summer vacation.

Big!!!!!

NOTE:  I have decided to use this blog as an avenue for my venting sessions.  Please don't judge and don't expect perfect grammar.  Editing it will ruin the therapy session.

So I have to admit I have been out of touch for the last couple of days so I have spent the last hour or so reading the news sources online to see if the world has come to an end.  And of course I spent sometime reading the entertainment aka gossip sites and I got angry.  When reputable sources post that a women is Big that makes me angry.

I am sorry but Christina Hendricks is Not big.  Yes I'll admit the color is not the best color choice but by no means is she "big".  Yes she has a big rack but she is not big.

In a society where women are always striving try to fit into the ideal mold our media sets us back ages.  I am a big girl.  I am over 6 feet tall and do not fit into the recommended weight category but you know what I am happy with were I am at.  I am working to drop my divorce weight.  But my height is something I can't change.  I have embraced it.  I wear heals, not just kitten heals but full fledged 4 inch heals, heals that cause my friends to stand on chairs to give me a hug.

I realize that my height will indimiate people but my height, my weight, the way I look is apart of me and if you can't accept that; move on.


P.S.  Just because I am tall does not mean I played basketball and that does not give you free reign to ask "Your so tall why do you wear heals"  I will ask you why you wear sneakers when you are so short.

Thank you

If you were to of told me 366 days ago that I would be a single gal again I would of slapped you. I thought my marriage was ok and that we had just hit a rough spot. Silly me.

Now 365 days after the "love of my life" walked out all I can say is THANK YOU!!!!

Patrick thank you for giving me back my life. I never realized that I had compromised so much to be with you. I lost who I really am. Family is extremely important to me and when I start to forget that, red flag. Friends are important to me and when you walked out and I had nobody to call that should of been another red flag.

I was asked tonight if I would redo the last 13 years and my answer was "No Way". Those 13 yeras shaped who I am today. And damitt I am an amazing women.

So again Patrick, Thank You.


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