I have been Andrea Vonderscheer for 4 weeks and it has been a very rough 4 weeks; there have been times when I have felt like a high schooler again; G*D I don't want to go back there. This time has also given me a lot to think about. What do I do next in my life and I have decided that I am going to make a 40's list (things I want to accomplish before I turn 40). Some things will be easy to achieve and other's I will have to work for.

Keep an eye out for it.......

So I have been spending all weekend with two very active pre-teen girls.

First Night Out!!!

Last night was the first night I went out since the fungus left. I went out to a bar in Olympia with some co-workers and had a great time.

It's official.....my marriage is over. And guess what....I am ok with that. My soon to be ex-brother -in-law knocked on my door on Sunday evening and served me with divorce papers. I was upset but not because I was served but because this is the first time the fungus took the initiative to do something and he beat me to the punch.

I have called around and found a lawyer and this is going to the be most expensive fungus removal of all times. Can't I just go buy a can of Tinactin? My parent's have been great. Even though this suck there are some good things that are coming out of this; I have rediscovered myself and what is important to me; I have reconnected with friends; and my parents and I have been closer than ever.

I wish I could go through this whole thing without involving my family because it has to hurt them too. Fungus was involved with my brothers; he went car shopping with them and my youngest brother crew up with Patrick in his life. WE ARE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM!!!!!

So I have been fighting the urge to text my husband. I want to reach out to him but I'm not going to; I don't want to push him. We are suppose to meet this weekend, hopefully, and I am scared that he is going to end it.

I have been meeting with a counselor and her advice is pretty sound. She says that being supportive of him needing space is a good thing. However, I can't not look under that rock. The rock being him leaving. I have slowly looked under and I don't want to go there but if I have to I will be ok. It will hurt. It will suck. It will break my heart. But if he doesn't love me that I can let him go.

Sunday Night!!!!

So I have been attending the eLearning 2009 conference the past few days and have been "trying" to have fun. Tonight is actually the first night that I did have some fun. I had to force myself but I did have some fun.

There was an event tonight at a local brewery and it was within walking distance of the hotel so I had a drink (or two). As I was walking back from the hotel I notice this amazing building. It actually reminded me of DC (so that made me thing of Patrick, I digress) and I thought of the history surrounding this building.



Just looking at this building makes we wonder what my life would have been like if I had lived in the past. By past I mean pre-modern age. Would I be the traditional wife and mother or would I be the "non-traditional" women?

Wonders of life

With everything that has been going on in my life I have started to realize that I am important.  I deserve somebody who loves me for who I am and wants to make me happy.  I deserve somebody who will talk to me and not ignore me.  Somebody who wants to grow old with me. 

I was going to start writing in my journal again; yes pen and paper but I thought why don't I use my blog. You may ask why do I need to journal; the simple answer is that my husband and I are going through some difficult times. He actually moved out two weeks ago and I don't know what the future holds for me.

It completely caught me off guard I didn't see it coming but know that I have had time to process everything I think it may be a good idea.

To make a very long story short my husband doesn't know if he loves me anymore and I realize that I can't have enough love for both of us. I have to have faith that we will get through this. The more I talk to people to more I realize that this happens more often than not.

On a lighter note, I am going to be an Aunt; I will be Aunty in about 7 months and I can't wait. This is the most recent ultra sound picture:

I will call the baby Mini-Vondey.

I guess I should get back to packing. I realize that there is probably nobody reading this but it is theraputic.